by Rebecca Guez on totumwomen.com
In 4th grade, I failed my first test. It was a math test, and I can still remember sitting in the back of the classroom, crying to my teacher, my nose dripping into my turtleneck because I took the failed grade so personally. It wasn’t just about failing the test itself, in my mind I was embarrassed for being a failure.
Fast forward to my competitive high school, where I would work really hard, earning only average grades, and again I took that really personally. I was intimidated by my intelligent peers, and grew discouraged so I stopped putting in my full effort. When I didn’t do well, this laissez-faire attitude soothed me, whispering, “you didn’t really try.”